Speed merchants
Daniel Waters recounts how leading figures in the
roofing industry faced certain pain and potential
ridicule to raise money for the NSPCC.
It’s happened to most of us I guess – you have a few drinks and suddenly you think you’re invincible. It was just this sort of situation that arose early in 2007 when, after a pretty long and draining meeting some of SIG Roofing’s senior management unwound with a pint or six. With high spirits, someone who shall remain nameless (although his name rhymes with Pris
Silliams) decided to float an ambitious dea; “Why don’t we enter a team in the London Triathlon this year?” The exact details of how the rest of the conversation went are unclear,
but I imagine that there was too much pride in the room and no-one had the nerve to back out. The consequences snowballed until middle management, manufacturers and unfortunate
friends were all conscripted through a variety of underhand psychological techniques.
THE TASK AT HAND
They had entered the 'Sprint' category of the Michelob London Triathlon (The world’s biggest Triathlon) which consists of three gruelling stages. First, a 750m swim in the Thames where they had to avoid unspeakable debris in the water and the flailing limbs of their competitors. Next, the bike ride – 20km of searing pain
around the picturesque rolling hills of London’s Docklands…
Finally the 5km run that takes a cruel route through the bustling pubs and wine bars of the East End.
THE HARD WORK BEGINS
The problems really started when it came to the training regime. The guys involved work hard for a living, with early starts and late nights, only
snatching a round of golf in rare moments of relaxation. Fitting in a training plan that could prepare them for a Triathlon was not going to be easy.
On August 4th, the fateful day had arrived and the condemned men gathered at the London Excel Centre on one of the few searing hot days of the summer – what were the odds! Many of them had bought new bikes especially for the occasion – were they going to appear on E-bay the next day, I wondered? Surprisingly everyone was very supportive of each other and there was minimal
testosterone or chest beating to be seen, even between rival manufacturers. So, with ashen faces they said goodbye to their loved ones and prepared to contort their way into their wetsuits,
ready for the race.
THE RACE
As the unofficial cameraman for the day it was my job to capture the spirit of the day; you know: pain, anguish, misery etc.
There was only one way out of the swim area so I positioned myself ready to get shots of everyone as they thrashed around trying to get out of their wetsuits in abject exhaustion.
Seasoned swimmer Russell Pagan from SIG Roofing was the first of our group to finish the swim, like a blond otter. He was positioned about 7th out of around 250 in his heat. An awesome performance!
Next the bike ride. I positioned myself under a tree to hide from the blistering heat and I caught the riders as they careered around the bend ahead. The only way of recognising any of
'The Speed Merchants' was by their branded up vests, as their faces were hidden under designer sunglasses and helmets.
Unfortunately, one person was easy to recognise – Russell Pagan had got a puncture and was bravely trotting round the track, wheeling his bike alongside. Now he was stealing the limelight
for the wrong reasons.
When it came to the run it was no longer about technique or style, but guts. I spitefully Located myself at the top of the toughest hill
on the circuit and waited with my camera. With graceless effort, but true English grit the SpeedMerchants trudged past me as I barked out encouragement. Amazingly most of them smiled at me, although I think one or two were wondering if Hit Men were listed in the Yellow Pages.
After two hours or so it was all over and I was knackered – not that there was much chance of any sympathy! It would be unfair of me to list names and times, but everyone performed admirably with
many of the team putting in performances that would have shamed kids half their age.
OF COURSE - THE CAUSE
The SpeedMerchants managed to raise over £18,000 for the NSPCC, so the day hurt their wallets as much as their body. But everyone involved can be truly proud of a commendable performance. And
finally, a word of warning; if you don’t want to take part next year I would avoid the adjacent people around spring 2008, or you might get roped in yourself!
roofing industry faced certain pain and potential
ridicule to raise money for the NSPCC.
It’s happened to most of us I guess – you have a few drinks and suddenly you think you’re invincible. It was just this sort of situation that arose early in 2007 when, after a pretty long and draining meeting some of SIG Roofing’s senior management unwound with a pint or six. With high spirits, someone who shall remain nameless (although his name rhymes with Pris
Silliams) decided to float an ambitious dea; “Why don’t we enter a team in the London Triathlon this year?” The exact details of how the rest of the conversation went are unclear,
but I imagine that there was too much pride in the room and no-one had the nerve to back out. The consequences snowballed until middle management, manufacturers and unfortunate
friends were all conscripted through a variety of underhand psychological techniques.
THE TASK AT HAND
They had entered the 'Sprint' category of the Michelob London Triathlon (The world’s biggest Triathlon) which consists of three gruelling stages. First, a 750m swim in the Thames where they had to avoid unspeakable debris in the water and the flailing limbs of their competitors. Next, the bike ride – 20km of searing pain
around the picturesque rolling hills of London’s Docklands…
Finally the 5km run that takes a cruel route through the bustling pubs and wine bars of the East End.
THE HARD WORK BEGINS
The problems really started when it came to the training regime. The guys involved work hard for a living, with early starts and late nights, only
snatching a round of golf in rare moments of relaxation. Fitting in a training plan that could prepare them for a Triathlon was not going to be easy.
On August 4th, the fateful day had arrived and the condemned men gathered at the London Excel Centre on one of the few searing hot days of the summer – what were the odds! Many of them had bought new bikes especially for the occasion – were they going to appear on E-bay the next day, I wondered? Surprisingly everyone was very supportive of each other and there was minimal
testosterone or chest beating to be seen, even between rival manufacturers. So, with ashen faces they said goodbye to their loved ones and prepared to contort their way into their wetsuits,
ready for the race.
THE RACE
As the unofficial cameraman for the day it was my job to capture the spirit of the day; you know: pain, anguish, misery etc.
There was only one way out of the swim area so I positioned myself ready to get shots of everyone as they thrashed around trying to get out of their wetsuits in abject exhaustion.
Seasoned swimmer Russell Pagan from SIG Roofing was the first of our group to finish the swim, like a blond otter. He was positioned about 7th out of around 250 in his heat. An awesome performance!
Next the bike ride. I positioned myself under a tree to hide from the blistering heat and I caught the riders as they careered around the bend ahead. The only way of recognising any of
'The Speed Merchants' was by their branded up vests, as their faces were hidden under designer sunglasses and helmets.
Unfortunately, one person was easy to recognise – Russell Pagan had got a puncture and was bravely trotting round the track, wheeling his bike alongside. Now he was stealing the limelight
for the wrong reasons.
When it came to the run it was no longer about technique or style, but guts. I spitefully Located myself at the top of the toughest hill
on the circuit and waited with my camera. With graceless effort, but true English grit the SpeedMerchants trudged past me as I barked out encouragement. Amazingly most of them smiled at me, although I think one or two were wondering if Hit Men were listed in the Yellow Pages.
After two hours or so it was all over and I was knackered – not that there was much chance of any sympathy! It would be unfair of me to list names and times, but everyone performed admirably with
many of the team putting in performances that would have shamed kids half their age.
OF COURSE - THE CAUSE
The SpeedMerchants managed to raise over £18,000 for the NSPCC, so the day hurt their wallets as much as their body. But everyone involved can be truly proud of a commendable performance. And
finally, a word of warning; if you don’t want to take part next year I would avoid the adjacent people around spring 2008, or you might get roped in yourself!
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